Hitting...

So, this week Nathaniel hit another kid for the first time. I wasn't entirely sure what to do, it seemed to be done out frustration not anger and it was definitely provoked.

The story is; we were at Tuesday playgroup, Nathaniel was running around saying hello to everyone and playing with toys as expected. He was in one of those cars that are sort of like bubbles that you control with your feet Flinstones style, you all know the ones I mean, and as he was trying to push himself forward this other little boy decided to hold onto the door so he was unable to push away - the boy in question had moments before shoved Craig (Julie-Ann's little boy) off a bike from behind so he could take it. At this point I was about two metres away and could hear Nathaniel asking him to get off, the little boy had that glazed over look in his eyes, he was staring at Nate but at the same time ignoring him entirely - he continued to hold the car. Nathaniel tried to push the boys hand away unsuccessfully, I could hear him becoming more and more frustrated and was preparing to go over and remove the child who was bothering him when it happened; Nathaniel lifted his hand from trying to push this kids unbelievably vice-like grip and started to sort of open palm slap at him, I could see he was not doing it full force, it was more like he was trying to beat his arm away a but it was definitely a form of aggression I have never ever seen from Nathaniel. The only thing Nathaniel tends to do is hit himself in the head if he is told off or cheekily throw his toys away from him but never, ever had he hit out at another person. He did kick Chris once but he was playing and it was hilarious) The kid didn't react at all, he just continued to gaze into the distance - clearly he was not being hurt, but he did take his hand away from the car.

Of course, the mother caught sight of it and did a 'OHMYGOD' face as if it was the most horrendous and heinous thing she had ever seen a child do and went to stop Nathaniel but I was there first. I took him from the car and sort of half heartedly told him he was being naughty and not to do that, more for the mothers benefit that anyone's as, if I am honest, I was a little bit proud of him for sticking up for himself. This may make me a terrible and immoral mother in the eyes of some but it made me smile a little inside to see Nathaniel do something other than be super sweet. Occasional naughtiness, mild screaming tantrums and hitting ones self in the head aside, Nate is bubbly, bouncy ball of joy and happiness. He wants to be friends with everyone, he shares his biscuits and (Sackboy not included) his toys and gives people cuddles and kisses. he is adorable, and sociable and says hello to strangers on buses. And now, he strikes back in the face of evil, yes, his striking out was rather half hearted as if he purposely chose to cause no real harm, but he did it. And I think that is natural and good. He was provoked, I think Nathaniel needed to do that lest he get walked all over and be forever weak. He has now established his place in the toddler pecking order. He is nice, but he will no longer take shit from other kids. When he lashes out and hits another child for no reason other than greed or malice then that will be a different story, he hit me on the leg the other day and he had a glimmer in his eye that told me he know he was being bad and he wanted to see my reaction, of course we scolded him and he straight away stopped, patted me on the head and said 'nice' but again, this is another step in the establishing of his place in the world, testing the water to see what is okay and what is not. I fully embrace all of these things as necessary moments that we get through and build the foundations of who he will be and what our relationship will be like; he will judge me by my reaction to what he does just as I react and praise or discipline appropriately to the actions he takes. This may sound like philosophical bullshit but I like to think that he realises when bad is bad and when it is necessary, that he knows that when I told him off after hitting that child that it was not the same as when he was told off for doing certain other things, that he knows he was justified in his actions but he ought to not have done it, really and he will, somewhere in his little toddler mind, respect me for acknowledging that with him.

Maybe I think to much about things.